Worth The Paper It’s Written On

It’s Valentine’s Day.

I was sitting on the tube heading for work, minding my own business, doing the Sudoku in the paper when the seat next to me became vacant and a lady sat on it. There was a man with her. I assumed they were a couple and continued with minding my own business. The thing is being in a very confined space I cannot but help hearing the snippets of conversations between this lady and the man. Here is the summary.

She didn’t sleep very well last night. He thinks it’s because it was a different environment. She doesn’t want to work at it any more. He says it is her right to decide. She says thinks are not working very well and he says he understands.

The conclusion in my head is that they slept together and now she is going to dump her man on Valentine’s day and he of course will be there for her and offer his shoulder to cry on.

That made me think of the topic of conversation on London’s Biggest Conversation (LBC) radio programme that I listened to Tuesday night. It was talking about whether marriage has become insignificant. There were callers calling saying that it is just a piece of paper and they do not need a piece of paper to declare their love to their partner.

Yes, I’m married. Before I was married, I also had the same idea. But now I’m married, I believe that piece of paper holds significance.

Like the lady and the man on the tube. It was obvious on the conversation that the lady and her partner was just living together. She now had an affair and will be using it as an excuse to get out of the relationship.

Married people have affairs too but I do think that when you have that piece of paper and that you’ve taken the oath to be together through thick and through thin, yes, the affair will be an excuse but from most of what I see around me from married couples, the affair is used an excuse to work at it harder, find the problem and try to solve it. Only when you can’t find a way to solve the problem that the issue of divorce tend to arise.

Divorce is not an easy thing to go through and I do think that married couple use it as a last resort… unless of course your a Z list celebrity who uses divorce as publicity or if you got into the marriage for the wrong reasons in the first place.

I’m just saying that this ‘just a piece of paper’ is important and people are now taking it for granted.

As I said, I’m married. I love my husband. But our relationship is not a bed of roses… or maybe it is but with the thorns on the stem to make it feel a bit more uncomfortable that we need to keep clearing it the thorns to find a comfortable spot. The thing is, from my past experience, if the relationship has run its ‘honeymoon period’ course and I’m starting to find thorns in the bed of roses, I would in the past start finding excuses to leave. But I am married. I chose to be with my husband. I took my oath. And one day we will get rid of the thorns.

Oh… unmarried couples with mortgages would say that they are committed to each other with their huge mortgage. Don’t kid yourself. You can always buy the other party out.

That piece of paper and the oath that you take is more than just money.

It’s Valentine’s Day. My husband and I don’t really celebrate it. But to those who do, good on you. And for those who in the end decide to commit, take the oath and have that piece of paper, good on you.

Did I take my husbands name? No, because it is not in my tradition to take my husbands name but I do double-barrel my names at times because we have a child and I want to be associated with that child. But regarding names… it will be a totally different post.