Privatising Myself

I was chatting to a couple of colleagues at work about social networks. One colleague is culling his friends list and the other said she would never accept a friend request from people at work. They were saying that they can’t really put up what they want if certain people are in their ‘friends list’. I told them that the best thing to do is not to put anything embarrassing or controversial. To which they disagree as it is their page and sometimes they want to speak their mind.

I know that this has been talked about a lot but I do find it interesting how people view the big infinite world of the world wide web differently from the big wide actual world.

I have to admit, in the past when all of these were new to me, I was all excited and poured my soul for the world to see. Looking back, I cringe as I think that I revealed too much of me. Yes, I’ve deleted some posts and make some private… but not before they were read.

I treated my blog and social network posts like I treated my diary when I was a teenager. The difference was, the diary that I kept was only privy to me… until mom got hold of it and read it and then I cringed and felt like it was the end of the world. How dare she read my private thoughts… and I’m sure that this must be the same for everyone… but why then is it OK to air your private thoughts publicly for strangers to read and scrutinise you?

My mom is not computer savvy but that does not mean that she can’t use the computer if she wants to. Whenever she asked me to show her something on the computer, she tends to pick it up almost immediately. For all I know she might actually be more computer savvy than I think she is… and do I want my mom to read certain things that might actually embarrass her more than me?

No.

I respect my mom too much to have her think that she has not brought me up the right way when she has actually done the very best that she could. She does not need any more grievances from me. She does not need to feel that I’d rather tell strangers all my secrets and yet, I do not verbally tell her.

Even though I do not put up any embarrassing or controversial posts up, when I received a friend request from my uncle once removed (as in he’s the child of my granduncle… not that I previously removed him from my friends list) on FB, I just had to go through some previous posts just to double check.

In a world where everyone is airing their dirty laundry for everyone else to see… I think I’ll be old fashioned and keep myself to myself… like the hermit that I am.

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Be Grateful You Ungrateful Child

During my journey this morning, my ear pricked up when I heard a conversation between two people, let’s call them A and B.

A was doing most of the talking and B was doing most of the listening.

From what I understood, A was complaining about her parents. It seems that A is still staying with her parents and she looks about mid to late 20s. A was talking about her parents keep interfering with her life but what really got on my nerves was when she was saying about at least she’s not paying rent and something like her parents never asked but if they did, why should she as it’s her money.

What?!

Maybe I’m from a different generation… I’m definitely from a different culture. If I was living with my mom, I would pay her rent even if she didn’t ask. I would pay my share of bills and I would even give her some extra for all the trouble.

Even now, I’m in a different country from my mom, I feel guilty that I do not have the extra funds to give her. She had (and still is) sacrificed a lot for me and a few pennies here and there that I could give her is nothing compared to what she has (and is still) gone through.

Please understand, my mom will never ask… I just wish I could give.

I just hope when my child grows up, she will not have the conversation A and B had about me. I hope my child will be grateful of the little things that I can give her and not think about the things that I am not able to give her.